- Always talk about all (likes, wishes, problems, sex, …) and never stop to communicate (Relation Killer No.1).
- Always solve your common conflicts and problems at once – not later. Reach 5:1 solvable solutions. Never transfer or misuse your partner for your own problems – but show your decisions and solutions. Also find every year 3-4 new projects to work together on it (travels, house, career, family, …).
- Always take time for your partner (career is No. 2…) and help your partner to self-actualization as self-consciousness). Also work on your self and develop further – never stop.
- Always accept your partner on the same level – eye in eye – hands in hands, never play games (e.g. driving car together – don’t correct or control your partner).
- No Valentine Day, Birthday, … is important, but your individual celebrations (1. Together created special days, 2. marriage day, 3. birthday of then partner,…).
- Never run away and always work on your emotions (anger, …).
- Never betray & or cheat your partner, it always coming back as Karma as like a boomerang.
- You always have to go back and start again then you finish a relationship – and coming again to the same problem. So better go further in your actual relationship, or you always end at the samle frontier.
- Ask experts but try to solve your relations problems inside, never put it outside.
- Always accept that you need new(er) game rules and new agreements. Contentment (judgement – Verachtung) to resentment (Groll) are psychic problems to solve with experts (therapeuts, psychiater,…).
source: Gottmann Institute
4 Horsemen of relationship: Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, and Stonewalling